Help Section

Memory: It is very common for the person who had the stroke to not remember. It is imperative to have patience and you will have to repeat yourself many many times. Be gentle and understanding. Try not to say things like “I already told you that!” I could tell Darin felt very awkward and felt a lot of sadness not remembering and so I tried very hard to normalize and just get into the habit of repeating myself. It was common for Darin to ask me many things over and over. Or sometimes someone would come visit and he wouldn’t remember. I never made him feel bad for not remembering. I just tried to encourage him that he would get better and that he will recover. Try to stay positive, repeat with kindness. Try to stay neutral instead of getting annoyed.

Supplements/Medication: Darin is on a blood thinning medicine that has to be taken twice a day. The doctors made it very clear he has to take it and he can not climb ladders, hit his head, or get cut deeply. I put a timer on my phone for 8pm and 8am daily (and still have that timer) for the medication. Darin in the beginning got very frustrated thinking he could remember to take his medicine. He got down on himself for forgetting. My advice is to keep the timer and support the stroke survivor. Do not rely on them to remember to take the medication. I also got pill containers from the local pharmacy for each day and for am/pm. The timer helps immensely and also comforts me knowing I am not relying on his memory to takeout. Darin is also on some brain supplements we will post about soon.

Schedule: I think it is very important to be the eyes an ears for your stroke patient. Darin seemed like he could remember things. He was always alert and communicative and sometimes I would forget that he would never remember important phone calls like doctor appts. It is easier on everyone if you sinc calendars and be the eyes and ears and you do all the scheduling. In Darin’s case he couldn’t drive so I had to drive him to all his appointments.

Aloneness: Its been about 7 months since the stroke and one thing I am noticing is the feeling of being alone. The recovery process is intense but also very subtle and complex. I know everyone won’t necessarily have the same experience but I want other family members of stroke victims to know they are not alone in feeling alone. It’s like Darin is in his own little world of slowing down and being and in the process it’s almost like he isn’t aware of others. I do not want this misconstrued or misunderstood. The subtleness of Darin’s way of being now (which is slowing down, allowing, accepting a new life) has brought up many many feelings in both myself and him. My feeling of alone stems from me sitting back and allowing him to come into his new existence. Yes I can communicate with him how I feel but 1: I don’t want to overwhelm him and 2: because his memory is still a little off I don’t want to overwhelm him. I know with time things will settle.